Thursday, February 13, 2014

A Man who truly delivers Doesn’t always Send Flowers

“I got flowers at the office, and everyone else was so jealous!” 

It was a commercial that made me cringe.  My husband scoffed, and while normally we might disagree on such matters, for once we were on the same page.  Someone alert our marriage counselor!

It’s this sort of “He went to Jared!” mentality that makes guys want to skip out on this whole Valentine’s Day deal in the first place.  And of course, there’s the shady subliminal message that sending flowers or giant teddy bears to the office will inspire your lady's, shall we say, amorous side. 

Shaming may be one way to motivate, but it never feels good.  Methinks there would be rioting in the streets if an ad featured a husband smugly pronouncing, “She went to Victoria’s Secret!!”

Truth - whether your man sends flowers to the office isn’t necessarily a true barometer of his love or commitment.  It doesn’t mean the woman who received them landed a better man, or that he’s more devoted.  Because most of us who’ve been married a long time realize somewhere along that line that real love, real commitment, isn’t nearly as glitzy as a batch of red roses.  (Even though they’re very nice, and I would never discourage anyone from sending them.  Don’t hate me, FTD!)

I'm happy for the gal who gets flowers delivered.  But I also want to say to the gal who doesn't - it doesn't mean he's thoughtless or unromantic, or that he doesn't adore you.

A man who quietly stands by a woman day in and out, or brings her soup when she’s sick, or accepts her child as his own, or affirms her work, or appreciates her quirky traits and forgives her downsides, or who works tirelessly each day so so can work tirelessly raising the kids at home, or goes church with her even if he’s a bit undecided - now that’s a man who truly delivers.

Some say Valentine’s Day is a ruse - that you shouldn’t need a national holiday to commemorate what you ought to do every day.  Personally I’m still in favor of setting aside a day to make a little time for kindness and affection that gets lost in the daily grind.  

Some of us need a little encouragement – and not just the guys.  Which makes me think - maybe I should run to Victoria's Secret!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  Corinthians 13:4-7