It was a moment that made me stop and suck in a long, deep
breath. Cancer. After an endless month
waiting, we’d finally learned my husband’s diagnosis. Squamous
Cell Carcinoma, HPV-positive, to be exacting – or Cancer on the back of his tongue near his tonsils,
spread to a lymph node in his neck. Um, no, not possible. I lost my mom to this insidious disease (gastric cancer) just
9 months ago; so sorry, Cancer, I thought, you’re not allowed to rock our world
again just yet.
But of course, Cancer can’t be counted on for timing. My husband and I walked through a haze and shared
the news with thick throats. Then, we
linked arms, dusted off and readied for another fight.
Despite medical advances, Cancer conjures our worst fears,
whether your prognosis is curable or life threatening. Still, many patients, survivors and family
members are molded by the experience, even despite a crushing loss. Walking
alongside my mother’s battle left me stronger in some areas, vulnerable in
others, but mostly more resilient and more appreciative of life.
So while it was crushing to receive this news so soon after
losing her, my husband’s Cancer appears to be one highly responsive to
treatment; my faith is strong; and we enjoy a supportive community, great
doctors and health insurance. So it’s
easier for us to remain hopeful and positive.
The real heroes survive, thrive, and/or heal when they don’t have those
in spades.
Recently I contributed to a book by Kathe Wunnenberg titled,
Hopelifter: Creative Ways to Spread Hope when
Life Hurts. The book describes ways
to comfort those enduring crisis, like Cancer, divorce, unemployment, and
more. My own loved one’s journeys with
Cancer make me a giver, and receiver
of hope. Because the greatest gifts
cancer delivers are the sweet expressions of love and compassion. And for that
we say, Thank you, Cancer. But don’t think we aren’t going to kick your
tushie!!
(You can follow our story at Caring Bridge.org. )
How to Cope with Cancer:
- Rely on family, friends, and
faith. Tap into your
support system, or create one online.
You may choose to tell just a few close friends; or you may connect
with the masses via social media. Either
way, don’t do it alone.
- Accept offers for Help. Most people want to do something to ease your load. Let them! Graciously accept offers to drop off
meals, clean your house and babysit the kids. In time, pay it forward.
How to Help a Friend or Loved one Cope with Cancer:
- Listen. So many have been been touched
by Cancer, so resist the urge to immediately share your own story. Listen, first and fully. Ask questions. There
will be time to empathize with your own experience.
This content originally appeared in East Valley Magazine.